A time for reflection- Song Fic
by brittany.barbour1
Summary: Post 3x9- lots of spoilers. How does Felicity reflect back on the year 6 months after Oliver's death? Song Fic of "Seasons of love" from Rent.


_AN- This is post 3x9, random plot bunny got stuck in my head along with this song- it's a bit of a recap with lots of spoilers- reader beware!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Arrow or its characters, all rights belong to DC and CW. I also do not own the song/lyrics of "Seasons of love"_

**_-xxxx-xxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-_**

**_Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes_**  
**_Five hundred twenty five thousand moments, oh dear_**  
**_Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes_**  
**_How do you measure, measure a year?_**

"Ugh!..." Felicity smashed her alarm clock, "There should be a law against show tunes on the radio!"

Ten minutes later she was in the shower, singing to herself:

_"In daylights, in sunsets_

_In midnights, in cups of coffee_

_In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife_

_In five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes_

_How do you measure, a year in the life?"_

As she moved to the chorus, "How about love?..." She caught herself, realizing she was singing about Seasons of love when all she knew about love was that it hurt. The only example of love she had in her life was a college 'true love' who turned out to be a psycho and tried to kill her after faking his death, and an emotionally stunted ex-billionaire who loved her too much to be with her. Who, in the name of love, marched to his death like a lamb to the slaughter. Yeah, measuring a year in love would be a pretty crappy year for her...

-xxxxx-xxxxxx-xxxxxx-xxxxxx-xxxxxx-

As Dig and Roy entered the basement they weren't shocked to see Felicity already at her work station. They weren't shocked by the tears in her eyes either. It was the quite hum of a song under her breath and the slight uptick of the corners of her mouth that almost looked like a smile. They hadn't seen her smile in six months, not since the day Oliver had been given the ultimatum to duel with Ra's Al Ghul.

_"Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes  
Five hundred twenty five thousand journeys to plan  
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes  
How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?"_

She had given in to the song. It was on the radio again on her way to the foundry, something about promoting the live show that was going to be in Starling for the summer. As she listened though, all she could think of was how odd her year had actually been. She hadn't even realized what day it was until she really thought about it, what had happened in the last year?

"It's been a year you know, since the siege... It was a year ago today... I had completely forgotten. Did you remember?" She still hadn't looked up at either of the men, who were now stopped in there tracks looking back and forth between each-other and her.

Dig stepped forward, "How could I forget, it was the day I found out I was going to be a father."

"Kind of hard to forget the day you wake up from a coma, get healed from a super-human psycho drug and get your heart shattered in one 24 hour period..." Added Roy. When Dig shot him a glare he merely shrugged innocently, "What, it is."

"A lot happened that day" She added as she went back into her thoughts, humming again.

-**_In truths that she learned_**-

"That was the day he told me he loved me. I thought it was unthinkable, that he could love me instead of gorgeous Laurel or darkly perfect for him Sara..."

A small tear rolled down her cheek and Roy stepped to comfort her, but Dig grabbed him first, nudged him toward the training matts and simply mouthed the words "She's finally processing, leave her be."

_**-Or in times that he cried**_-

"Sara was... she was the one that was rooting for us. She was the one who taught me I could use my small size to my advantage... He said he didn't get to mourn for her because he had to be strong for everyone else. He did though, he cried for her death and used it as even more of an excuse not to be together- if Sara wasn't safe, no one was..."

-_**In bridges he burned or the way that she died-**_

"Of course, who would have had their guard up around Thea."

Roy winced at the thought and in that split second he looked away was enough for Dig to get in a good blow, the sound of him falling to the ground broke Felicity's empty stare toward her computers just long enough to glance their way. She went back to her stoic conversation with herself just as quick though.

"I mean, all the tech I used, all the help from STAR labs, and I couldn't figure it out. I don't brag about it, but I'm a certified genius and I couldn't even figure it out... how could he not burn bridges... how could he be expected to know..."

As she let a few more tears fall Dig got distracted enough for Roy to land a round house kick. If they were going to continue to fight and keep an eye on Felicity at the same time someone was going to end up seriously hurt.

-_**It's time now, to sing out Though the story never ends Let's celebrate Remember a year in the life of friends-**_

"It wasn't all bad I guess, I mean- we stopped Slade, and crazy Carrie, 'Captain Boomerang,' and Vertigo, again. Lance became Captain, Laurel the DA, Barry the Flash and Ray the ATOM. Little Sara is the cutest thing on the planet," her smile finally showed through fully, "and Lyla will be such a pretty bride."

_**-Remember the love  
(Oh, you got to, you got to remember the love)-**_

"Who cares if my ex came back from the dead and tried to kill me and take out the city using my own tech against me. That brought my mom and I closer, who ever thought that was possible."

_**-Remember the love  
(You know that love is a gift from up above)-**_

"You know, she asked me how many millionaires I knew after meeting Ray and Oliver the same day... if only she knew... you know I kissed Oliver, Barry and Ray all in just a few months- who gets to do that, I mean, one vigilante super hero for a comic book nerd like me is the full fantasy- i got 3 in one year... how does that happen?"

The boys were sharing looks again, Roy's eyebrows lifted into his hairline as he silently asked if Dig knew any of that, while Dig only held up his hands in surrender and shook his head.

_**-Remember the love  
(Share love, give love, spread love)-**_

"Do you remember the looks on their faces, when Cisco and Caitlyn first came down here? Of the looks on your faces when you first saw what Barry could do. How about when Ray showed off his suit the first time? Or when Laurel thought he broke in down here and tried to take him out her heels... yeah, those are the stories that make a team a family..."

The men weren't even pretending to fight anymore, just watching their bubbly blonde finally be herself again, babbling away at all the good memories, the ghost of a smile on all three of their faces at this point.

_**-Measure in love  
(Measure, measure your life in love)-**_

"Your supposed to measure your life in love, and tragedy just makes us more aware of the good times right? Without super villains I never would have known Oliver loved me. Without Ray tricking me into helping him hack the QC mainframe he wouldn't have snagged the company and the ATOM would never have been here to help the people of Starling. If Oliver hadn't refused to face his feelings after Sara's funeral, i never would've agreed to work for Ray and become partial owner of Palmer Tech- which pays for this operation now. Without that explosive date and hospital breakup, I never would have gotten that one perfect kiss. Already mentioned that Cooper's resurrection led to my mom and I finally getting along..." Felicity stood from her computer and paced the room, chewing on a pen, stopping in front of the case holding Oliver's hood.

As the tears fell freely down her face she reached out to grab his hood and pull it up to her nose, one sniff and it was like Oliver was with her again. She could always feel him in a room, she had missed that, but if only for a moment she had it again.

_**-Seasons of love-**_

"I could have done with one less funeral this year though... or another resurrection. I mean, we got 4 last year... why not 3 this year?"

"Yeah, why not"

The voice was gruff and she thought it was a figment of her imagination. That she had finally lost it and turned him into a ghost, maybe picking up the hood was too much, maybe finally letting everything out and ranting on and on was letting out the crazy. But the sound of Roy dropping the staff from his grip and Digg's shocked intake of breath made her turn anyway.

By the she turned he was right there, pulling her in for a kiss. "Oliver?"

"Felicity," the way he said her name said it all-_ 'I love you, I need you, I'd never leave you...'_

As they began to kiss their bodies crashed together and two became one. It was as if his lung had never collapsed, back had never been cracked in the fall, and he had never been nursed back to health in a hidden cave in the Canadian Rockies. She had never broken her hand smashing her hand through his glass weapons case, never crashed her car into the mailbox from lack of sleep, and all those nights she had cried herself to sleep disappeared. As they kissed and the chap of his lips proved this was real, she knew this is what life was about. Life was seasons of love and it was finally their turn, their season...

_**Seasons of love**_


End file.
